Home Visits

After a long time away it can be awkward to go home.  Wondering will anyone still know me, and will anyone care where life has taken me?  No matter what going home has an attraction that is hard to ignore.  So again I venture there, in body but mostly in mind/spirit.  To feel the streets of childhood and offer my lessons from abroad, 

Detroit, MI was the first city I loved.  It showed me how to move to a faster rhythm with grace and style. It brought to me delights of the world-- music, art, food.  Whetting my appetite for the depth and richness of human souls.  I heard in a recent news report that Detroit has an image problem and was even listed on a website as the number one city to avoid for vacation travel.  That story made a chill run through me.  Had all the charm and delight of her bold architecture crumbled?  Had the beauty and flair of classic car lines faded and lost their lustre?  No, just a few well-placed voices forgot what truly makes a city great, and worth a stop during rejuvenation breaks.  Detroit has taken a few hits, lost a few teeth but her truest beauty is in her heart where the people live and give freely.  It takes a studied eye to see real beauty in a crooked smile, and the lyrics in a crying song. 

I was born and raised in Detroit, MI, and I left almost 30 years ago but Detroit never left me.  The heart of Detroit still beats strong—it is strong because people still care for and about one another.  The heart still beats strong because there are doors that swing wide to let in all who seek for shelter, food, and human compassion.  When this is the desired commodity there is never a shortage in Detroit.  So to all the “nay-sayers” and “doomsday hawkers” the sound that you hear is the rising crescendo of the trumpeting dawn.  The signal of another brilliant sunrise on the fertile ground of our own beloved Detroit, MI. 

To borrow from my homie Marshall Mathers, “… don’t let ‘em say you ain’t beautiful.”  Detroit you are deeply and profoundly beautiful, the special ones can see it.  They respect it, honor it, they love you.

Success is in the Risking

Sometimes the key to making the impossible possible is to push beyond who we know ourselves to be-- to plunge forward, to be outrageous.  Anything worth doing is worth doing wrong.  Or said another way, truly there can be no progress without taking risks.  With risk we are present to fear.  The fear that despite all our best efforts, careful planning, and sheer obsession with every detail we will make mistakes, screw things up, and possibly flat out fail.  How devastating is just the thought.  For some of us this was a reality.  We worked, planned and scrutinized almost every detail of our lives and still we found ourselves on the losing side.  We lost jobs, homes, and even loved ones despite all our care and attention.  What did we do then?  Some of us sat stunned, some cried out and some got up brushed off the dust and started over again.  Some of us did all of that—I did.  Then I opened myself to the Universe and asked for help. 

Through the encouragement of a supportive friends, family and angles along the way I was able to brush off the dust and start again.  There was enthusiasm for charting a new course for myself and perhaps expand some aspects of work and my personal commitment to social justice along the way.   I gained the confidence of using my skills for the benefit of and to make a difference for others.  I was reminded that it is essential to do my best and remember serving a client well is not always about the end result, it is also about the process of the case. 

Above all I look for the fun and joy in life!  My time on this leg of my journey showed me that some of the excitement and happiness comes when I am challenged to stretch beyond my wildest dreams.  So I commit today to take the risk, push beyond my limits, plunge forward—to be a little outrageous.  For in the end I learned that in the moment I take the risk, that is when I succeed!

Re-back-to-School: Time to Celebrate

This Monday, tomorrow, will be my first day of school in over 15 years. To say that I am a little nervous is an understatement of epic proportion. It's scary when you put things down kind of like they become more real. Throughout my life school was the safe place, the happy place, the place where I found success. I’m returning to school thing time as an opportunity to hit the “re-set” button in some ways. Today as I sit here so many thoughts roll through my head – "how will I handle it, will I be successful, what does it mean to be successful?" I have specific goals for this school adventure, some related to the specific subject matter—yes I want to be an expert in tax law. I want to know tax law inside and out I want to understand the procedures and rules that apply to this area that everyone glibly refers to as one of the only two things that are sure in life. Success in school means not only knowing how to find the law, knowing how to read the law, understanding the law, knowing how to interpret the law, but also how to use the law. However, I think the biggest goal for me through this school process is to remember, re-focus on the good things about me, the good in me.

My life as it is, warts and all, is valuable. I have a bad habit of discounting the things I do. Somewhere along my life journey I told myself a story that if I could do a thing then how special could it be? It’s no big deal. What?! Hold on, wait just one minute—if I step back and look at my achievements and think when other folks do what I’ve done I cheer them on. I guess I was looking for other people to celebrate them, but why wait? So now I know the first step for me is to celebrate my own achievements.

A dear friend commented to me that seeking self-love is an act of bravery. Well I need to be that kind of brave. I need to be brave enough to stand up and say “hey I took a huge leap of faith, I let go of my security and trusted a power greater than myself.” Now I’m leaping and trusting once again. This is worthy of celebrating. So here I go: I have new shoes, a new purple notebook, and a great new purple pen courtesy of my Daddy! I’m ready, and I’m school better be ready for me.

I Surrender...

More often there is one word for the thing which stops me-- fear. Small word big impact. Over time I figured out something about that small word with the big impact, the fastest way through it is to surrender to it. Afraid of bridges? Find some, or at least one, and cross over it-- back and forth many times. Drive over them, bike over them, walk to the middle and just stand on them. Dream about building them-- imagine climbing to the highest point on one and then jump off, watch yourself fly. Soon, the impact of that fear fades. Similarly with the fears keeping us from cherished desires locked deep in the secret chamber of our heartsoul.

For the past few months a certain tune ran through my thoughts like my life “theme song.” One might not think of it in these modern times but it plays in my head every day. This song has been around since 1896. It was written by a Mr. Judson W. Van DeVenter, an art teacher born December 5, 1855 in Dundee, Michigan. The song, I Surrender All, is a hymn based on a passage from the New Testament--

In the same way, any of you who does not give up everything he has cannot be my disciple. Luke 14:33.

Most commentaries interpret this verse as the Cost of Following the Life of Jesus. While there are mysteries about Jesus, we know how his life started and we know how it ended. So to surrender and live that life is not a big risk, and we can plan and prepare for what we know. So perhaps this Surrender All is about something else. In the dictionary surrender is defined as the act of giving up, yielding, abandoning, relinquishing, or resigning something or to something. What if there was something even greater in this seemingly simple act—what if all this surrender is about what keeps us from following our heart? For me this theme song is reminding me that every speck of this beautiful Universe wants me to yield to my heart. Give up the struggle and let go, be a disciple of my life. So here I go I am climbing to that highest point and jumping into a wind that will allow me to fly free and then set me down in my next life learning and truth telling spot to wait for the next good breeze. Then its take a deep breath and surrender again…