This Monday, tomorrow, will be my first day of school in over 15 years. To say that I am a little nervous is an understatement of epic proportion. It's scary when you put things down kind of like they become more real. Throughout my life school was the safe place, the happy place, the place where I found success. I’m returning to school thing time as an opportunity to hit the “re-set” button in some ways. Today as I sit here so many thoughts roll through my head – "how will I handle it, will I be successful, what does it mean to be successful?" I have specific goals for this school adventure, some related to the specific subject matter—yes I want to be an expert in tax law. I want to know tax law inside and out I want to understand the procedures and rules that apply to this area that everyone glibly refers to as one of the only two things that are sure in life. Success in school means not only knowing how to find the law, knowing how to read the law, understanding the law, knowing how to interpret the law, but also how to use the law. However, I think the biggest goal for me through this school process is to remember, re-focus on the good things about me, the good in me.
My life as it is, warts and all, is valuable. I have a bad habit of discounting the things I do. Somewhere along my life journey I told myself a story that if I could do a thing then how special could it be? It’s no big deal. What?! Hold on, wait just one minute—if I step back and look at my achievements and think when other folks do what I’ve done I cheer them on. I guess I was looking for other people to celebrate them, but why wait? So now I know the first step for me is to celebrate my own achievements.
A dear friend commented to me that seeking self-love is an act of bravery. Well I need to be that kind of brave. I need to be brave enough to stand up and say “hey I took a huge leap of faith, I let go of my security and trusted a power greater than myself.” Now I’m leaping and trusting once again. This is worthy of celebrating. So here I go: I have new shoes, a new purple notebook, and a great new purple pen courtesy of my Daddy! I’m ready, and I’m school better be ready for me.
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